@AgencyQuotes

screen-shot-2017-02-27-at-22-48-31

We run a @AgencyQuotes, a joint Twitter account with Vikki Ross, which receives a huge amount of interaction each day from the creative industry.

We share all of the #thingsyouhearinagencies and invite people to send in their own. Get involved!

Follow us & share the things you hear at: @AgencyQuotes

To get the book click here:
Support independent publishing: Buy this book on Lulu.

Below are a few examples:


“I need you to… you know, jazz it up”

“We need to do another route for the client to reject”

“Craft the kerning between the ‘r’ and the ‘n’ as it looks like bum”

“Are you busy?”

“They won’t get it”

“The target audience is your mum”

“Have you got enough to go on?”

“The client said we came a very close second in the pitch”

“It is what it is”

“I love the smell of marker pens”

“The client will know what he wants when he sees it”

“Can we keep the freelancer? He’s cute”

“Did everyone get a bottle of champagne?”

“Where’s final copy?”

“Must’ve been a late one – there are pizza boxes and wine bottles in the kitchen”

“Use bullets”

“Let’s see it in situ”

“Can you contextualise that for me?”

“What’s the hook?”

“We need to make an executive decision”

“Just post rationalise it”

“I don’t get paid to think”

“Have fun with it”

“Can we combine option 1 and option 3?”

“Well it’s not going to win us any awards…but”

“How’s that for a campaign!”

“Let’s do something that’s never been done before”

“Nobody reads words anymore”

“It’s never easy”

“Let’s get this one out on time for once”

“That’ll look awesome… when it’s been edited”

“Make the white whiter”

“Stick a Call To Action in there”

“They love it but want to change the headline, image and CTA”

“Let’s just go with that for now”

“What time are we off to the pub?”

“I can’t print the internet”

“I think the dictionary is wrong”

“We’re retro fitting it in”

“The black’s a bit dark”

“Let’s see some designs”

“We’ve got some minor tweaks”

“The Creative Director doesn’t do Fridays”

“They showed it to a five year old”

“We’ve got a widow”

“Write some bollocks to explain it”

“They’re a dying brand”

“Get the latest wires”

“Christmas is cancelled”

“Do a viral”

“White space is not dead space. Look at Apple”

“We need alcohol”

“Everyone’s an Art Director”

“I’ve had enough of this. Let’s set up on our own”

“We need a War Room”

“My wife doesn’t like blue”

“We’re just pixel monkeys”

“See what’s on Getty”

“Let’s own this”

“The client doesn’t like Oxford commas”

“They want to make the 30 seconds last longer”

“They want a bigger logo”

“It’s got to have standout”

“I get it. I don’t know if the client will”

“Never touch another man’s Photoshop”

“Where’s the consistency?”

“It’s not grabbing me”

“Pint?”

“I can’t believe we’re here on the weekend”

“Of course they can afford it”

“The client wants to know when we’re translating the Latin”

“It doesn’t work on that background”

“Have you seen the feedback?”

“Cancel your plans, people”

“I’m just being creative”

“They want print outs”

“What’s the budget?”

“We are where we are”

“Loving your work”

“Crop it”

“We’re using a solid colour”

“Let’s leave it til Monday”

“There’s no project manager on this”

“Let’s give it the over night test”

“The client thought it would be easier if they wrote the copy”

“There should be a job number for filling in timesheets”

“Can you shoehorn it in?”

“The girls stayed at the shoot to have their make-up done”

“It’s fine for it to be off brand”

“We’ve got an extension”

“It would be funny if they actually chose that one”

“I thought you were going somewhere else with this”

“It’s too clever for the target audience”

“The printer’s broken”

“Flip it around in Photoshop”

“What’s the hierarchy?”

“It’s a cut and paste job”

“Things are getting lost in translation”

“Let’s see what they come back with”

“I need a tint of red but not pink”

“We need to manage their expectations”

“The CEO is here tomorrow so make sure you’re in by 9am”

“It’s been art directed to death”

“Stick a drop shadow in there”

“Let’s park this for now”

“Put a treatment on it”

“We can’t have conflicting logos”

“Why do we need a background colour?”

“My gravestone will say “approved and finally signed off”

“Is this all we’ve got?”

“Don’t come back until you have a proper brief”

“I haven’t been to bed yet”

“We’re getting there”

“The guidelines are 50 pages long. No wonder no one reads them”

“We need a safe route”

“The copy’s not final and the images are placeholders”

“That wasn’t in the brief”

“I wouldn’t buy it”

“Expense it up”

“I’ll see if I can get us more time”

“The client has sent us a scamp”

“We need to take control”

“The logo’s hitting the image”

“It looks different on my screen”

“The headline doesn’t work”

“They’re out for the rest of the day”

“Tea?”

“It’s missing something”

“Let’s shoot it in the Maldives”

“Put a gradient on it”

“Who approved this?”

“We’re looking at beery fonts”

“Do you reckon the cleaner cleans my mouse?”

“I’m retouching his ass”

“It’s a good start”

“We’re not paid to think”

“I don’t get it”

“They did away with apostrophes a while ago”

“This has to be out the door by end of play”

“Fucking timesheets”

“Make it pop”

“Park that for now”

“We need some moodboards”

“Ah the beachball of doom”

“Don’t touch my screen!”

“Do it in post”

“We’ve over delivered”

“I don’t see the Call To Action”

“It’s gone viral”

“Are we talking in normal terms?”

“There are leftovers in the boardroom”

“Reinvent the wheel”

“Just Lorem it”

“Look busy this afternoon – the client’s coming in”

“It’s design by committee”

“Let’s suck it and see”

“Cake?”

“Where’s the wow factor?”

“QR codes are shit anyway”

“It is what it is”

“There’s a lot of disconnect”

“I hate lorem ipsum”

“We’re out of A3”

“It’s a complete redesign”

“There’s no budget for a shoot”

“We need it ready for the tissue meeting”

“Flesh it out”

“The scribbles make it look worse than it is”

“Work your magic”

“It’s copy independent”

“What’s it supposed to be?”

“They don’t need any creative – just some ideas”

“Go with your judgement”

“Let’s present our thinking”

“I think he’s still drunk”

“We don’t have the resource”

“Do some macced scamps”

“We open on a white sandy beach…”

“You should wear a onesie to the awards tonight”

“No, that’s too ambitious”

“Sex it up”

“Brand guidelines? That’s still a thing?”

“No one is going to die over it”

“We can’t find any more images”

“How long are you here for? Wondering where to put you”

“We need to dial up the creative”

“Shit I’m hungover”

“Is that real?”

“The link doesn’t work”

“I know you don’t know her but can you design her wedding invites?”

“Headphones on”

“Who’s the creative and who’s the writer?”

“We’re working through people”

“Sometimes I forget I’m at work”

“I don’t do spreadsheets”

“Are you on Facebook?”

“Can you print white on black?”

“We need a different blue”

“We haven’t got time to do anything good”

“Don’t spend too much time on it”

“I’m getting hand cramps”

“The idea needs more momentum”

“They can’t afford it”

“We’re so Shoreditch”

“They want us to fill the white space”

“It needs to stand out and blend in”

“No one will notice”

“The screen’s crashed”

“They want it to have an Instagram effect”

“Fuck-dialled the client by accident last night”

“Were you here late last night?”

“Shhhh, the client’s on the phone”

“I’m running it out now”

“I won’t be putting it in my portfolio”

“What guidelines?”

“It won’t work”

“Chase him”

“They don’t want to pay for any photography”

“Who can we get to do the voice over?”

“Make the word ‘grow’ grow on screen”

“Have a play with it”

“Change it back to how you had it originally”

“Let’s take it offline”

“It needs to look organic but clumsy”

“They’d like to make the logo as wide as the bodycopy”

“It’s a budget issue”

“Just taking photos for my blog”

“We’re going off brief here”

“You didn’t outline the fonts”

“Is all that white space meant to be there?”

“When do they need it?”

“The Creative Director is full of himself today”

“They were all at that awards do last night”

“That tea is the perfect pantone”

“It’s just an idea for now”

“We’re just brainstorming”

“Use that funny language while we wait for copy”

“You’re the designer – make it look good”

“Keep it simple”

“Pass the screen cleaner, mate”

“We’re out of chocolate biscuits”

“It feels a bit dated”

“It could be anything yu want it to be”

“I’m on a deadline now”

“Put a treatment on it”

“Are they paying for this shit?”

“There are only so many options we can do”

“That job’s got junior team written all over it”

“What happened to the first design you did? I like that one”

“Can you make the other logos smaller?”

“Final change – promise”

“What about reversing it out?”

“Can I jump onto your Mac?”

“Is that the brand typeface?”

“The logo is just the font in bold”

“We want to be really creative”

“We need a digital person in that meeting”

“It’s visually boring”

“Can we story board that?”

“It’s a limitation on the design”

“That’s looking pretty tight”

“This is the controversial version”

“I use Comic Sans to scamp things up because it looks more creative”

“What do you expect from a suit?”

“There’s not a chance this will get to print by Friday”

“That needs to be more cyany”

“Not sure about the relationship between the blue and the black”

“I don’t like highlighting words”

“They like the pictures but we need new words”

“I feel like I’ve got a hangover – it’s really weird”

“This reads like it was written by a foreigner”

“You don’t know where to look”

“That’s what the internet’s for – looking at loads of cats”

“Oh the logo goes there, does it?”

“It’s always me who has to replace the cartridge”

“Follow the Style Guide, not English grammar rules”

“Hey, @AgencyQuotes retweeted me!”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s