In this post I want to share some of the realities we face in our lives.
It’s all too easy to see all of the ‘all smiles’ content via social media that can often mask what really goes on behind the scenes. We see it with our family and friends on our Facebooks & Instagrams but it is often forgotten about when it comes to brands and organisations. It's easy to forget that there are real people behind those too.
Last week I began a 14-day isolation as I, at short notice, finally got a date for my spine operation to repair my slipped disc. The discectomy is booked in for the 17th of December. I had the chance to take the op privately for £7000 on October the 10th last year, which was just after our #OMBLIVE6 event, in which I was trying to hide the excruciating pain I was going through. In hindsight, if I realised a global pandemic would be cancelling operations for many months, I’d have taken it. Instead, after discussing options with my consultant, we agreed that I would have a CT-guided lumbar epidural corticosteroid injection, as a stop gap to take away some of the pain, and make life liveable, with a view to having the full operation via the NHS in March.
Then, of course, the lockdown was announced in March and operations and check-ups began to be cancelled and postponed. Mine was one of them and the NHS could offer no answers for months as to when they would be up and running again or where I would be within any waiting list.
At a time when I was having contracts, events and film projects cancelled, it was a huge worry. This also came at a time when One Minute Briefs was growing rapidly and becoming a creative outlet for those stuck at home. The feed became relentless every single day, which was of course a huge positive but not necessarily paying the bills at a time when we were receiving no government support (and still haven’t to this day) as a Forgotten Limited Company. We even ran a campaign in support of ForgottenLTD to try and make Rishi Sunak listen.
As if everything that was going on in the world wasn’t enough, I was now having to try and stay motivated to keep going every day at a time when the work just wasn’t there. Motivation itself was a real struggle for me already as I was on controlled drug Gabapentin, which is for Epilepsy and nerve pain. The side effects of which are tiredness, drowsiness, dizziness and, at worst, they can make you have suicidal thoughts.
So, at a time, when every day is like Groundhog Day, they definitely aren’t the best drugs to be on.
At our last real-life OMBLive event, I spoke about the struggle to get up in the mornings due to the severe pain I had been in. I spoke about how this had come alongside issues within the family and how I’d also been battling with neighbours from hell. All of this was overwhelming. However, one constant in my life has been the OMB community wanting that daily brief. And, I’ve ran the last 300 without any breaks. Over the past 18 months, this has definitely forced me to wake up in the mornings when I could have easily have stayed in bed to avoid the pain. But now it has become just to walk in to another room of your house to work. Sometimes you question yourself… is it really worth it?
Before the lockdown, I did my very best to get up and out of the house despite the pain and do my best to carry on as normal. Growing the community and sharing the story. The picture below is me before a talk I was doing at Lloyds Bank in September 2019. I was embarrassed about the picture at the time as it shows the pain I was in. The sciatic pain caused by doing something as simple as sitting down or standing up was unreal. Oh, and to add insult to injury, if you look closely, you can see my finger is taped up. I had cut off the tip of my finger the night before (doing art to try and relax funnily enough) and it was still bleeding heavily the morning after. Just 20 minutes before the event I was considering cancelling but I somehow made my way down to do the talk and then went to hospital afterwards.
Not long after that, I was due to fly down with a few friends to London to watch American Football at the new Tottenham Hotspur stadium. It was great to have something to look forward to. But the night before was the worst pain I have been in, in my life. Life was genuinely not worth living. I didn’t sleep at all. I was up at 4 in the morning reading blogs about how people could possible deal with this pain.
I read about someone who was a successful stock trader with a great family, car and house. Yet he said all he lived for every day was to have the comfort of hugging a bean bag to get away from the pain. Nothing else in his life mattered anymore apart from gaining himself that pain relief. And I could completely relate.
The pain is indescribable. It’s even far worse than the heart attack I suffered a few years back. But because that happened to me, I have to make sure I am exercising my cardio. Yet I can’t, every walk I do gives me pain, I gave up the game I love of football and I have been unable to exercise in gyms or go running.
I remember in August doing a shoot for Quest Media. We shot at 8 different locations in a day and getting in and out of the car was unbearable and excruciating. But I was determined to deliver a great campaign for them and not let anyone down.
I then took on a month long freelance project with Ear To The Ground in October. Going on shoots with Gary Neville in my first couple of days. I was responsible for the creative direction across a few projects. And, I remember how I would wheel myself on my chair across to the film editor whenever he had a question, to avoid the pain of having to stand up. Quick questions became a daunting prospect and I couldn’t act in a normal way anymore. I tried to hide all of this at first, but the best thing was to be honest about it and let the people around you know that you are suffering so they can understand.
So to get the epidural injection on October the 17th, in the middle of this project, was an instant relief. I was suddenly completely numb. I remember having it and then attending the MPA Awards that night. But I didn’t feel right and left early.
I then had a course of physiotherapy to coincide with my pain relief. But often the stretches I’ve had to do have brought on even more pain but I have persevered as much as I can. I even joined in with football for 10 minutes here and then just before all football was cancelled. Essentially playing on one leg but trying my best to keep some sort of level of fitness.
The medication I am on means I struggle to be able to wake up quickly in the morning and I am sometimes slow in my conversations or forget what I’m saying mid-sentence. But I have become completely reliant on it.
That’s a worrying thought in itself, as I know they are very difficult to come off. But they are at least allowing me to live in some level of comfort. However, if I’ve been for a walk or I drive, or miss my meds, the pain comes back in waves. This has come alongside a communal dispute with my property management company Zenith, who have offered abysmal service for a year but hold you to ransom to take your service charges. Something I will look to create a campaign on in the New Year. This and everything else that has gone on, has led me to go to the doctors with anxiety and depression. Resulting in me having heart monitors fitted due to palpitations
With all of this in mind, I had planned to try and take 2020 fairly easy and stay positive. I made a resolution to say yes to all trips and I had Bali, Oz, Dubai, Spain and Poland all booked. Covid came in and cancelled all of them and I have, as a result barely left my flat.
As One Minute Briefs has grown over the lockdown period and we work with more and more brands, I have wanted to grow with more staff but have held off on doing this due to the uncertainty of the world right now and I knew the operation would come up at some point, where I will be in recovery for a number of weeks. Not knowing when this would be has really held me back.
I kept asking but they could give me no answer. Until, late in November, my consultant rang me and said they have a date for my surgery. December the 17th. It came as a shock and I have had to think quickly about the Christmas period and where I will be for my recovery. I had my pre-op on the 4th and will be in for an MRI on the 9th.
This last minute news forced me into a quick decision on this year’s merrycritmas.com campaign. It would have been much easier to cancel it this year… but I tried to do the impossible and write, produce and direct a film within a week. We somehow managed it and have something to show for it with the brilliant work of a number of contributors pro-bono. The results of which, you will see this Wednesday as we launch the campaign with The Drum for the fifth year running. We look forward to creating more book crit matches for young creatives with Creative Directors than ever this year.
Following that, I’ve since started my isolation due to Covid and will be spending time recovering at my mums following the op. Me being me, an exciting opportunity has come in over the next week, and I’ve taken it. This will be to do a film/stunt for a very big brand and it’s something I did not want to turn down after a year of not being able to create big campaigns.
But I’ve been told for a while by a number of people that I must take a break from One Minute Briefs. A lot of people think there is a team of people behind OMB but it is me running everything behind the scenes. But the support of the OMBoard members has been brilliant as they help me do posts across our social feeds and advise on any issues we face as a community.
OMB has become more of a way of life than a job for me. It is part of my routine and is truly rewarding when I see all of the positive stories coming out of it every single day. The joy it brings, when people receive a tweet or a like from a brand or when they get their first win, is something that I never get tired of. But to keep the feed running as it does, takes many hours a day. Working weekends and into the evenings is a normal thing and, although it doesn’t feel like work, the demands of it every day can take it’s toll when you receive thousands of notifications a day. I actually have to turn notifications off on my phone as it drains the battery rapidly. We get so many tweets that we are even now begging Twitter to stop hiding tweets from new accounts as it is blocking them due to the relentless amount of posts coming through our feed!
Last week, I had a long chat with Tiger Savage, a world renowned Creative Director who has been an inspiration of mine and has since become a friend alongside her husband after we collaborated on campaigns for their brand, King of Shaves. Following our discussion about life, health and wellbeing, she has told me “You must take a break!” This along with other people telling me the same thing has made me realise, I do need some headspace. And with the op coming up, now is the ideal time.
So that’s what I am doing. I am stepping aside from OMB during this project, op and recovery period.
I hope to return stronger and, fingers-crossed, pain-free in the New Year with a rejuvenated feeling to help grow OMB and the Bank of Creativity into an even bigger worldwide platform that this positive and supportive community deserves.
It’s been a difficult year for all, but together we have still achieved some amazing things including setting a number of Twitter trends, featuring Live on ITV’s Peston, sparking a worldwide #StayAtHome campaign for Guinness, collaborating with huge brands like ABSOLUT, Pringles, Adobe, O2 and KFC. As well as supporting various charities/causes like NHS, UN, Oxfam and WWF. We’ve held our 7th annual event online, which was possibly our best ever despite the circumstances. And, after a successful collaboration with industry inclusivity initiative Outvertising, we’ve even signed a year-long partnership with Clear Channel, which will see some of the inspiring OMB content created being seen by the public right across the United Kingdom.
Overall, I just wanted to say that, despite all of the physical and mental pain, it’s important to keep going. Stand up for what you believe in and don’t worry about not progressing in the way you want to. Things change in life and success isn’t defined by how much money you make or how big you grow.
It’s about what you do for yourself. And, if you are trying your best despite what the world throws at you, that is all anyone can ask for. Your legacy will be what you leave behind and the lives you help improve. And, if you can help other people, they will help you in return.
Thank you to everyone who has supported me during all of this. Let’s hope for a better 2021!!!
Nick
